WHY CAN YOU LIGHT A FART????

Thanx to the sunday herald sun for this vital yet important information!!!!!!! hehehehehehehe

Thursday funnies!!!

I have finally found inner peace.

"The way to achieve inner peace is to finish off all the things you have started".
So i looked around the house to see all the things i started and hadn't finished
.....and before leaving the house this morning I finished off a bottle of red wine, a bottle of white wine, the baileys, three barcardi breezers, the Jack Daniels,
the prozac, the valium, some cheese cake, and a box of chocolates.
You have no idea how bloody good i feel!

( thanx to a dear friend who sent this email to me)

ARTIFICIAL SWEETENERS KILL!

WARNING:

I was shocked to read this as i drink a can(or up to 800mls)a day of diet
coke/lemonade. I do ingest H2o and my morning coffee's.

I will think again about PHENYLALININE!

Check out this site....
http://www.sweetpoison.com/aspartame-information.html

I also read the case histories on this page.
A very interesting read.......
Dont give your children artificial flavoured foods. And don't consume them when your pregnant!

saturday night

well, i ventured to nic's house last night. We had a night of laughs. And i mean a night of LAUGHS.

What a woman shouldn't do when under the influence is;

Sit on a recliner chair(while the chair is reclined) with legs curled up, lean forward and hold onto the side table while trying to reach for your drink on the main coffee table. Reason; Chair tilts forward, hand on side coffee table knocks bowl of potato chips flying onto your head and spewing all over the floor while the recliner chair is on a 40degree angle touching the floor! Woman and friend then laugh hysterically to the extent of tears and painful abdominal muscles. Hmmmmmmmmmm. I hope i desribed that well enough for you to paint a picture in your head! Very Very Very Funny....

so, what else has happened? I have a new mobile phone. Its Ace! I have a new watch i bought from ebay. Its toatally cool! I had my pc looked at. Is working better, BUT, i need to call them again as im still dropping out.Pfft..
My car is being looked at in a week and i get a courtesy car!
Work is satisfying now i have added responsibility.
And i have also bought a new cat ornament to add to my home. Its also Ace! Not that i need anymore! I already have 100 cat things scattered around the home!...LOL

Huntsman #2!!!!

What a rude awakening!
I pulled my letters out of the letter box only to discover another furry fiend.
Another HUNTSMAN! Bloody ugly things.
My letters went flying in the air(along with the huntsman)and were scattered on the lawn. Mr Huntsman soon became a flat spider under my shoe.
I hate them.......Please God "No more Huntsmans!"

BTW. Happy Valentines day to those who have a valentine!

WHEN THIGS GO WRONG! ARGH

Friday i get home from work and decide that i better wash my dishes.
I turn on the hot tap to fill up the sink and add a bit of cold. When putting the cold tap on, there was an awful clunking sound through the pipes.
I go to turn the cold tap off, but to no avail. The bloody thing was spewing out high pressured water. WTF do i do?
I call my parents (as they own this house im living in) in a panic. Dad starts yelling at me, I start yelling at him, then my calm mother gets on the phone.She tells me to turn off the water at the main tap out the front. Problem! There's no tap!!! Its snapped off.
I tell her i will get out my tool kit and try to turn it off. The conversation ended with me in a tis.
Here i start collecting water in buckets running backwards and forwards to the garden. I decided i need a man. So i call my friend who came to the rescue within 15minutes.
He got the flow down to a bear minimum. But i still continued to collect water in the buckets.
My dad and mum arrive 1hr later and its the rubber ring in the washer that had gone. Dad fixed it within 5 minutes.(At first he did tell me to ring a plumber! HELLO! That would have cost a fortune.)
Any way, as my parents are the landlords, they are going to call the water company to come and repair the mains out the front.About bloody time!
Now all i have to worry about my PC. The modem is stuffed. Sometimes it lets me connect, and other times not.Very frustrating!
And last but not least, my nice brand new sexy car that i have only had for 9 months keeps stopping when i have reversed and go into drive. So thats another repair job. At least its under warranty. Its the inconvienience of going to the workshop and waiting for approximately 2 hours!!!!!!!
Why wasn't life meant to be easy?????

10 thoughts to ponder for 2006

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an
erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use
the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you
still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying
of nothing.
Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
criticism.
Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a
substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006:

We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow disease is located among the
millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven't got a clue as
to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.
Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of
immigration.

(Thanx to sarah for this email)

SPIDERS

An uninvited guest entered my house over night!
It soon became a very lifeless guest when approached in the morning.
The eight legged furry creature makes me squirm.
I can't handle huntsman's.
They are disgustingly ugly and they scare me!
So i have been on the look out today for any more of the fuzzy furry fiends.....

horoscope

Ok.
Here are my stars for the week!!!!!! Sounds good, hey?

The Universe.

Nixie has said, "The Universe has delivered dearest Angela.... Stand by for some more Karmic plusses!!!!! ;-)."

I do wonder, really. I mean who wins lotto twice in one week($21 then $26), goes for a job interview, gets the job, then declines the job as wages are below standard and, my job that iv'e been at for almost 5yrs brings in the policy for me to utilise my skills! Hmmmmmmmm.
And i have lost 4kg in 4 weeks via my weight loss programme.I Still have 9kg to go. The brisk walking has become a regular routine for me.
Is it just coincidence? Maybe nix is right with this universe stuff? Alot of things have been happening since my nan passed away.
(R.H, Icant wait for your comment to this one!)
All i have left to achieve as part of my goals for 2006 is to kick my habit of Smoking, get involved in an activity of some kind to meet new people and form frienships, maintain my weight and, to meet the love of my life. *sigh*

I ask, is it true that "Good things come to those who wait???"

Check out my Horoscope above...