10 thoughts to ponder for 2006

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an
erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use
the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you
still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.
Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying
of nothing.
Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to
criticism.
Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a
substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2
In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is
weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006:

We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow disease is located among the
millions and millions of cows in America, but we haven't got a clue as
to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.
Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of
immigration.

(Thanx to sarah for this email)