taking some time off

FEELING SAD AND DEPRESSED. THE INEVITABLE IS GOING TO HAPPEN!

Times are tough with my family at the present time. My nan hasnt long to live.Heavens door is near. My mother needs me for support. And i need support too. So i wont be in blogland for a while.
Until i return, happy blogging to you all who read this..

Bye for now my friends xxoo

Quitting

My chest feels like an elephant is standing on it. The coughing makes it worse. And no one dare make me laugh. Its so uncomfortable.

And what Im bringing up when I cough is NOT pretty. God I feel like crap!
I haven't been to the doctors. All she will do is put me on a course of antibiotics. Yeah I guess some would say " treat the infection with medication." But honestly, panadol, lots of fluids and rest does the trick. I cant be stuffed sitting in the doctors waiting room where communal bugs linger in the air. What a stupid thing to write. HELLO! I work in a hospital. Like, there's no microbes their, is there? LOL.

But what Im getting at, am I ill due to the quitting of smoking? I have heard along the grape vine that a lot of quitters do get sick. It makes sense doesn't it?
You once pumped poisions into your lungs where they didn't work effectively. Then your lungs start to clear. So am I now more susceptible to infections?
Im guessing that I am at the present time. My dad quit 20yrs ago. He said he felt like crap for months. Mum said he was irritable and difficult to live with. Well I've no one to be irritable with. So that's a good thing. I just want to be healthy. I have to ride it through.

Anyone for golf?

Is this for real??


Please be aware that as your wives age, it is harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger.

When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive,and there is nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

My name is, John. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Martha. When I was laid off from my consulting job and took early retirement in April, it became necessary for Martha to get a full-time job, both for extra income and for the health insurance benefits we needed.

Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf course about the same time she gets home from work, and although she knows how hungry I am, she rests an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her.

Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club, so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home-cooked grub when I hit that door.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now, it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner.

I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

I really think my old business as a consultant helps a lot.

Telling people what they ought to do is one of my strong points.

Also, now that she has gotten older, she does seem to get tired so much more quickly. Our washer and dryer are in the basement, and sometimes she says she just can't make another trip down those steps.

I don't make a big issue of this, just as long as she finishes up the laundry the next evening. I'm willing to overlook her shortcomings in this area.

Unless I need something ironed to wear to the Monday lodge meeting, or to the Wednesday and Saturday poker club, or to Tuesday's and Thursday's bowling, I'll tell her to wait until the next evening to do the ironing.

This gives her a little more time to do some of those odds and ends like shampooing the dog, vacuuming or dusting. If I had a really bad day on the course and it was wet and muddy, and my clubs are a mess, I let her clean them, you know, getting the grit off the grips and a little light Brillo on the club faces.

Since my golf bag is heavy, I lift it out of the trunk for her.

Women are delicate, have weak wrists and can't lift heavy stuff as good as men. But I had to tell her that I don't like to be wakened during my after-golf nap, so rather than bother me, she can put them back in the trunk when she's finished.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example, she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much.

I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard.

I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of fresh squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too, then take her break by my hammock.

That way we can talk until I fall asleep. I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Martha, but I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy.

Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible!

Nobody knows better than I do, how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this letter, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile.

After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.

Regards, John

EDITOR'S NOTE: **John died suddenly Thursday, May 19th. He was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Golf Driver rammed up his rectum with only two inches of grip showing. His wife Martha was arrested, but after the jury read this letter, they accepted her defence that he accidentally sat on it.

She was released from custody on Friday.

King Arthur and the Witch...

Long story but definitely has a great moral!!!!

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question...What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer. But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table.Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus: What a woman really wants, she answered....is to be in charge of her own life. Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared.And so it was, the neighbouring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.
The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened? The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.
Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night?Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate Moments?
What would YOU do?

What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR choice before you look below.

Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now....what is the moral to this story?



The moral is.....If you don't let a woman have her own way....Things are going to get ugly!

RONALD'S BEEN KIDNAPPED!!!!!

My dear friend Nicky took a snap of Ronald McDonald being kidnapped!!!!!
She tells me that while on an outing with another mother to a trip to maccas, that her daughter came running inside from the playground saying,"Mum, Mum, someone's stealing Ronald!" Nix didn't believe her until she had a peek. And fair enough, she tells me that 2 young boys were putting Ronald McDonald into the back seat of their car! So she couldn't resist getting a picture of this with her camera phone.
Job well done nixie...

ODDSPOT(From the age newspaper)

Friday October 14, 2005
Chips that store music could one day be built into breast implants. One breast could hold the MP3 player and the other the music collection. BT futurology, who developed the idea, say it could be available within 15 years.(Oh please, just what ive always wanted." Musical boobies."one squeeze and it goes to the next track.)

Wednesday October 12, 2005
Moldovan police are searching for conman Vladimir Kozak, 49, who hypnotises bank tellers into giving him all the cash in their tills. One victim said he chatted to her, established eye contact and then put her in a hypnotic state.(What a gift. Bring it on!)

Monday October 10, 2005
Squirrels in Brixton, London, are getting hooked on crack cocaine hidden by addicts in gardens. The fur flies when they dig up the stashes and eat the highly addictive drug, which comes in small chunks.(OMG, What a sight to see.Squirrels off their face. LOL. The addicts would definately want to kill the furry buggers.Or maybe its a good way to kick the habit.)

Saturday October 8, 2005
One-day courses have been set up across Austria to teach men how to iron clothes. The country-wide courses are being advertised with the words: "A real man knows how to iron."
(Are men really that incompetant that a degree in ironing is required?)

Wednesday October 5, 2005
A village council in India has fined two men the equivalent of $830 for keeping a pet ghost. Iswar and Haripada Murmu, of Akshaypur in West Bengal, were accused of owning a ghost after one of their wives died.(WHAT THE?????)

This is definately one huge joke!!!!!

check it out http://johnhoward.blogspot.com/

Another Funny email.

ROOM SERVICE

I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a bit lonely so I thought I'd get me one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths when you're calling for a cab.
I grabbed a card on my way in. It was an ad for a girl calling herself Erogenique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs all the way up. You know the kind.
So I'm in my room and figure, what the heck, I'll give her a call.
"Hello?" the woman says. Wow! She sounded sexy.
"Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now. I'm talking kinky the whole night long. You name it, we'll do it. Bring implements, toys, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; Tie me up, wear a strap on, cover me in chocolate syrup and whip cream, anything you want baby.Now,! how does that sound?"
She says, "That sounds fantastic, but for an outside line you need to press 9."

C'mon. If you have a sense of humour you would have laughed at that one! I did. LOL

Annual Leave

ok. Here goes: Ange is turning over a new leaf.The day has arrived that I have quit smoking. I have my daily dose of nicotine patches. Mind you, i admit that i had my last 2 cigarette's this morning, then wacked on a patch, followed by a visit to the dentist where he cleaned and polished my teeth.Now in due time, the lung butter will churn, and i will be expectorating the sludge that has coated my lungs for the past 15yrs.I think thats descriptive enough.Yucky!

I have been telling myself all day,"I am not a smoker. I do not want to become oxygen dependant from COPD(chronic obstructive pulmonary disease).I am going to rid my body from poisons. I will exercise and become fit. I have will power. I CAN DO IT.I will do it!!!!!!

So as today is the start of one weeks annual leave, Iam going to better myself.More positive thinking and looking after myself. God, i am nearlly 33! Geez.....

I WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesturday i won $930!!!!!. I said to my friend, "lm just going to put 5 bucks in."
And guess what??? I won the jackpot!!! She had run off to the loo and returned to find me queueing up to get my winnings.
She is my good luck charm.Its a shame i cant put her on my keyring. LOL.
Thanx SS!

A deceitful Man

I have just discovered that I was deceived!
DON'T TRUST ANYBODY you fall for until YOU really get to know them. Trust yourself and be honest. DON'T lead someone on if your head and your heart isn't their. Feelings get HURT!!!

Growing Up

25 Signs You've Grown Up!

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them
2. Having sex in a single bed is out of the question
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge
4. 6:00 am is when you get up, not when you go to bed
5. You hear your favourite song in an elevator
6. You watch the Weather Channel
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up
8. You go from 130 days of holidays to 20.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt
16. You take naps from noon to 6 pm
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 am would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. If you're a gal, you go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again." 23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar
25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old butt.Then you forward it to a bunch of old friends because you know they'll enjoy it & do the same.

BONUS: When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh s*$# - what happened?

(Another sad but true email that was sent to me.)

SATURDAYS QUOTE

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organised

I have finally got off my ass and organised all the things that i have been procrastinating over this year!
I am getting my car windows tinted! YAY. Cant wait
I am organising a will. You never know if you are going to be hit by a bus.
I am salary packaging. Its Making a huge difference to my wages. Im an idiot for waiting this long.
I have had a massive attack of being "Sady the cleaning lady."Finally i have thrown out crap that i have horded for god knows how long! And i suppose i have been a little pedantic and obsessive with my cleaning regime. A word of advice; Cleaning windows inside and out of your home is a prick of a job. Pay someone to do it. My back suffered for a few days. Never again!!!
And I have to say "I LOVE E-BAY."Ok, i have gone a bit nutty here. Well not really. I purchased 2 items that i have wanted. That being an mp3 player, and a new watch. I did see a gorgeous diamond ring, but i was out bid. Bugger! Everything must happen for a reason.
And finally. I have my whiz bang digital camera. Its ace! What a great purchase. I think i better settle down a bit with spending. Maybe just a little. He he he.
Oops. I forgot to mention that i have applied for a new a job as a nursing supervisor. My fingers, toes, and whatever else are crossed. This would be a great opportunity for me. A challenge and to broaden my horizons. God I LOVE e bay...LOL

I HAD HIT A SNAG

1997 I think it was. I couldn't concentrate, I wasn't motivated, I was always teary, a black cloud hung over me.I thought that every one who stepped into my world disliked me. I needed help. Depression was diagnosed and i began medication.

Its amazing how a daily dose of an anti-depressant can change your thoughts and perceptions. I felt like a new person. I was confident, motivated, could concentrate and, the black cloud had disappeared allowing the light to shine through."Ange was back!"

The years passed and i tried many different medications. In 2004, one was prescibed that was a too higher dose to start off with. I began to feel faint one day. In fact i felt faint everyday.Then i noticed i had lost my appetite. I went to work and had a massive anxiety attack. I had to go home. I continued to not eat.Everything that went into my mouth made my stomach churn. The nausea was constant as well as the diahorrea. Sleep deprivation occurred. It was as though I was on a continuous dose of speed, and the laser beams that shot through my body constantly were the worst. That's the sensation I got from the anti depressant. Serotonin overload.

My mother and father looked after me through this difficult phase. I couldn't be alone. The paranoia and anxiety was too much for one to deal with by themselves. I was almost going to leave my job after breaking down infront of EVERYONE, and go and live with my parents. But i persevered. Then the penny dropped. I realized that ever since I started the new tablets, I had changed. So I researched the medication and saw that I had all the unwanted adverse effects. Here I made an appointment with my GP and changed medication. She even put me on valium to assist with my anxiety and insomnia.

Within 2 weeks the symptoms from an antidepressant dosage error were corrected. I was well. No nausea, I could eat and had no paranoia. What a fucking ordeal I went through! I lost weight when I had my illness. Approximately 8kg in 5weeks! I looked great. A wrong way to lose kilo's. But i couldn't eat!!!! And yes, i had that much time off work.

Now im fine. I take the correct medication that's right for me. I no longer need valium.
Depression is an illness like diabetes. You medicate to stabilize. You have good days and bad days. More good than bad though(except for my horrific experience, which was only short lived).

Today i can jump hurdles. I am motivated. I am not paranoid. But i dare not wish what i went through onto anyone!