Wednesday, August 31, 2005

SEXES.

EIGHT WORDS WITH TWO MEANINGS.

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.Female...... Any part under a car's hood.Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.Male.... Playing cricket without a box.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.Female.... An embarrassing by product of indigestion.Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.



AND;He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.She said . . . You wear pants don't you?

He said . . ..... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?She said . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said . ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?She said . .....Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said . . ..... Why don't you tell me when you have an orgasm?She said . . .. I would but you're never there.

He said . ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay?She said . . They don't have time

He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?She said . . We don't know; it has never happened.

He said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?She said ...... . . They already have boyfriends.

She said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?He said . . . A widow.

He said . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

6 Comments:

Blogger The Brooklyn Blowhard said...

Women: can't live with'em, can't live with'em.
And by the way, I linked you to my blog. I like your style.

1:23 pm AEST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LMFAO..hahahaha, good one sister

8:13 pm AEST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ange, Ange, Ange....

I take a great deal of offence at a lot of those comments you made there.... and some of that offence is even genuine! Just some.

And I have another one for you. Why do men die before women? Because after all those years with her, they WANT to die! ;-)

But in all seriousness... I can take a joke.... a lot of us guys are a joke! But I hope you dont really see us ALL as being THAT bad!

10:26 pm AEST  
Blogger ange said...

Alan Alan Alan,
This blog was actually an e mail that as sent to me which i found quite humerous. you know. funny, ha ha.
so it can be read which ever way you like. but us females rock. where would you be with out us? the mind boggles...

11:44 pm AEST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Where would we be without you??

You mean apart from free, rich, surrounded by gadgets and big screen tv's with sport on 24/7?

;-)

7:15 am AEST  
Blogger ange said...

SPORT!!! Nah. opera and other soapies. LOL

9:37 am AEST  

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