Saturday, September 10, 2005

WOMAN

NATIONAL GIRLFRIENDS AND SISTERS WEEK.


I am only as strong as the coffee I drink, the hairspray I use and the friends I have. To the cool women that have touched my life. Here's to you! What would most of us do without our sisters, confidants and shopping, lunching, and traveling girls.

It is good to be a woman:
1. We got off the Titanic first.
2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
3 Taxis stop for us.
4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.
6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
13. We will never regret piercing our ears.
14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway.

12 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

And the funniest thing is you actually believe all that stuff!! LOL

Actually, I beleieve it all.... guys are hopeless, pathetics, useless, horrid..... thats why I like girls!!! ;-)

5:48 pm AEST  
Blogger ange said...

i spose thats why we like maen! LOL

9:02 pm AEST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I could do with a whole lot of that chocolate right now :(

10:08 pm AEST  
Blogger R.H. said...

Excuse me, but I'm exhausted. Spent yesterday at Savers half price-sale: coat hangers flying everywhere. I got hit in the moosh with a black bikini. I thought of you, dear Ange.

Ange...An-n-n-geee.
When will those clouds
all disappear.
Ange...An-n-n-geee.
RH you lustful
old King Lear.

4:28 am AEST  
Blogger R.H. said...

But Ange
Savers loves you baby.
You can say
You're doing fine.

Ange
Savers loves you baby.
All price tags end
In ninety-nine.

4:47 am AEST  
Blogger It's me, @Moustachio said...

Will you be my sister, ange?

7:11 am AEST  
Blogger ange said...

RH, why dont the price tags end in 69! what a great number. LOL

11:11 am AEST  
Blogger R.H. said...

It's because Savers big boss (Bill Ellison) sees only the best in people. Bill is a smiling short back and sides 1950's man, totally innocent of sexual innuendo. He has never heard of a 69 (thank goodness) and would be horrified to know what it meant. His world is a world of philanthropic commerce, that's all. And of love. Other chumps in the rag trade try hard to link sex to attire. Bill never does that. Not even with the undies. He is all Romance. His pre-loved wedding dresses exude optimism. They hang there, proudly displayed on the wall. "Go on," they say. "It is not over. Love strikes twice! Three times! Ten Times! Yes! You will love again! So take it! Take the chance! And this time, at a sensible price!
Thank you Bill. Thank you for your 99. But thanks most of all for your common sense. A thing that romance and university graduates are most in need of.

12:21 pm AEST  
Blogger ange said...

good essay! you could have dotted the i's and crossed the t's. you only get 80%. better luck next time!

12:45 pm AEST  
Blogger R.H. said...

I'd like to dot YOUR i's and cross your t's. Cutie!

-Loverboy Robert.
(Seeking 100%)

12:56 pm AEST  
Blogger The Brooklyn Blowhard said...

Women are crazy. Men are stupid. Trust me, that's the truth.

4:04 pm AEST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

no one would wanna buy my wedding dress. My husband on the day, said it looked like it was made out of stocking material.... Hmmm, it was 'Ashes of Roses', or atleast supposed to be.....

7:41 pm AEST  

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